Saturday, March 26, 2011!
HandWritten on; 11:47 AM
went to SMU to study with huiping yesterday :) its known as our little attempt to inject some excitement into our lives, hence by going to town to study. its funny how both of us just felt the need to dress up nicer just because we're gonna study at SMU, hahaha. well, and yesterday once again i felt the feeling of how every decision we ever make, is going to impact us so much in life. some decisions, simple ones, can be easily reversed, and will not impact much, such as deciding what to eat for lunch? but some, can change your entire life, the people you'll meet, your future best friends, your passion, your love life? everything everything.
i still know i'll be better off somewhere else. but i must stick this through and emerge a stronger person, simply because i will now know where i want to be and what i would want to be doing, instead of the dumbass i was a few years ago, easily influenced and always full of hope. now, im still hopeful, but i know the reality, and i swear to myself that when the next 2 years is up, based on what i feel then, im never going to do something i hate and do not want to see myself doing again. i will ignore what everybody says, because HELL ITS MY LIFE. the past two years of my education life is simply the worst i swear, ive never believed in "you'll suffer and be miserable if you do smthg you do not have the passion for" so much till i experienced it first hand. and when ive suffered for the next two years, enough will be enough, and im going to do what im gonna do and i will try and do what i can to do things in which i know i'll be happy. i have spent two years regretting, and there's another two more years i'll spend in regret; and im not going to let it happen for the rest of my life. so what if its a total change? so long as im happy. to hell with all the judgements that i was so fearful of and which led me to this state. i know myself best after all.